Unless you grew up on another planet, or have languished for years in a rain forest eating fruit all day, you probably have a very good idea what stress is. Or at least you have felt it. That feeling of having knots in your stomach, a racing heartbeat and several other possible physical effects that are all caused by "SOMETHING". The Oxford dictionaries define stress as "A state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances". I remember that as a student I stressed so much before exams that I developed insomnia and a runny tummy. I went into panic attacks and as a result found myself unable to do anything meaningful about my situation. This was normally a downward spiral into procrastination and despair. Naturally I had a keen interest to find out firstly what caused these panic attacks and secondly how to avoid them in the future. Luckily I did and I would like to share it with you.
There is a saying "The obvious is only obvious once it becomes known", which basically says that once you discover something it seems to have been obvious all along. So I discovered a simple, obvious thing about stress: "WORRY causes stress." It sounds like something everyone should know, and most of us probably does. So if we know stress is caused by worrying, why do we still stress so much?
"WORRY causes stress - is it that simple?"
I had spent a lot of time pondering about my earlier tendency to worry about a lot of things. Was it a genetic disposition or was it lack of skill to deal with stress? Fact is that most of us live a very busy life. We have very tight schedules, tight deadlines, we have to frequently multi-task to get things done and there is simply not enough time in a day. Whilst my own life became busier and more demanding I found the actual cause of my stress and a fireproof way of dealing with it. In fact, this is so simple that I have taught it to my whole family, including my 9 year old boy and even he uses it with success.
The biggest cause of stress in our lives is that we do not worry about things at the right time. We know we have to resolve problems but we do not have time to resolve it immediately, therefore we tackle the next task and its problems, many times not being able to resolve all the issues and so the issues pile up in the back of our minds where in the end it becomes a big pile of worries. And worries are thoughts about problems that we are unable to resolve at that specific time. Oxford Dictionaries define worrying as "The state of being anxious and troubled over actual or potential problems". If we can stop worrying we can stop stressing. So how do we take the stress out of worrying?
"We do not worry about things at the right time"
So here is the secret: I would like to call it a "just-in-time" approach to worrying. Next time you have a problem and you do not have time at that specific moment to resolve it, do not let it dwell in the back of your mind. Follow these steps in order to eliminate stressing about it:
"WORRY causes stress - is it that simple?"
I had spent a lot of time pondering about my earlier tendency to worry about a lot of things. Was it a genetic disposition or was it lack of skill to deal with stress? Fact is that most of us live a very busy life. We have very tight schedules, tight deadlines, we have to frequently multi-task to get things done and there is simply not enough time in a day. Whilst my own life became busier and more demanding I found the actual cause of my stress and a fireproof way of dealing with it. In fact, this is so simple that I have taught it to my whole family, including my 9 year old boy and even he uses it with success.
The biggest cause of stress in our lives is that we do not worry about things at the right time. We know we have to resolve problems but we do not have time to resolve it immediately, therefore we tackle the next task and its problems, many times not being able to resolve all the issues and so the issues pile up in the back of our minds where in the end it becomes a big pile of worries. And worries are thoughts about problems that we are unable to resolve at that specific time. Oxford Dictionaries define worrying as "The state of being anxious and troubled over actual or potential problems". If we can stop worrying we can stop stressing. So how do we take the stress out of worrying?
"We do not worry about things at the right time"
So here is the secret: I would like to call it a "just-in-time" approach to worrying. Next time you have a problem and you do not have time at that specific moment to resolve it, do not let it dwell in the back of your mind. Follow these steps in order to eliminate stressing about it:
- Take a few minutes and define what it is you have to resolve. Get clarity in your mind about what the real problem is.
- Take an additional few minutes and define exactly when you need the problem to be resolved, in other words what is the deadline for the problem to be resolved.
- Now the secret: Ask yourself this very important question: Is there anything at all I can do right now, at this very moment about this particular problem? If the answer is yes, then do those things immediately. If the answer is no, then decide on a date and time when it would be appropriate to deal with it and what amount of time you must allow to resolve it.
- Schedule having to worry about this particular problem to the date and time you have determined for it, when you would be in a position to do something about it. Make a note of it in your diary or task list.
- Let go of the problem completely until such time you have to deal with it. Focus your brain power instead on the things you can resolve right now.
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